My dad is in the hospital until Friday. He had surgery yesterday and they ran into complications. I was worried about him yesterday, but it seems like no one noticed. I wonder if no one cared or if I'm just a really good actor. I hope I'm just a really good actor.
I feel used. I feel unappreciated. I don't know. At the same time I feel wanted.
I don't know whats going on. Today I plan on skipping my second class, digital audio production, because have to hand in our scripts and I don't have one. I don't have any ideas for one! See, I'm running away from my problems... Whatever. I shouldn't be up for another hour but I couldn't sleep.
I tried to write a poem yesterday, but it lacked heart. I've lost my inspiration. I've lost my best friend... I always thought of her as 'more than a friend' which I think got in the way of our relationship, but it made for some really good poems lol. I miss her. See a time like this, where my father's in the hospital, she'd be the one I turned to. So now... I have no one to turn to. I miss her a lot. I've noticed that I really miss her texts. Every time I'd wake up to pee or something, I'd check my phone and I'd have a text from her. I wake up all the time now, and always check my phone, and there never a text from her... or anyone. I miss her laugh. I've always missed that with her being away. I miss her trust in me. I miss how she would always make me feel good about myself. She built my self esteem. I miss her so much and I just wish things would go back to the way they used to be. My heart doesn't seem to be in anything ever since we stopped talking, which is weird, but it's just something that I noticed. I put on a good act, pretending everything is fine when really inside I just want to cry. Some moments are better than others, and sometimes I can stay occupied enough that I feel fine because I'm not thinking about it, but others I just wanna cry. And I have no one to talk to about it because she was the one I'd talk to about stuff like that.
Well I don't have any song stuck in my head to use for a quote with a picture, well, besides Show Me Your Genitals, Kylie haha. But I'm not going to use that one haha.
Off to start my day...
I feel used. I feel unappreciated. I don't know. At the same time I feel wanted.
I don't know whats going on. Today I plan on skipping my second class, digital audio production, because have to hand in our scripts and I don't have one. I don't have any ideas for one! See, I'm running away from my problems... Whatever. I shouldn't be up for another hour but I couldn't sleep.
I tried to write a poem yesterday, but it lacked heart. I've lost my inspiration. I've lost my best friend... I always thought of her as 'more than a friend' which I think got in the way of our relationship, but it made for some really good poems lol. I miss her. See a time like this, where my father's in the hospital, she'd be the one I turned to. So now... I have no one to turn to. I miss her a lot. I've noticed that I really miss her texts. Every time I'd wake up to pee or something, I'd check my phone and I'd have a text from her. I wake up all the time now, and always check my phone, and there never a text from her... or anyone. I miss her laugh. I've always missed that with her being away. I miss her trust in me. I miss how she would always make me feel good about myself. She built my self esteem. I miss her so much and I just wish things would go back to the way they used to be. My heart doesn't seem to be in anything ever since we stopped talking, which is weird, but it's just something that I noticed. I put on a good act, pretending everything is fine when really inside I just want to cry. Some moments are better than others, and sometimes I can stay occupied enough that I feel fine because I'm not thinking about it, but others I just wanna cry. And I have no one to talk to about it because she was the one I'd talk to about stuff like that.
Well I don't have any song stuck in my head to use for a quote with a picture, well, besides Show Me Your Genitals, Kylie haha. But I'm not going to use that one haha.
Off to start my day...
No comments:
Post a Comment