I'm sad at this moment. I've been so happy recently but today, tonight, I don't know. I feel like I need to write this. I'm missing my friends from college. I want to see them, but I don't think they want to see me. I feel useless. Like, yes I'm funny and I want to be funny but I feel that's all I am? If that makes sense. I feel like I'm just there for a "good time" and that no one wants to know me, they just want to be around me? If that makes any sense at all. I don't know. I wrote a poem, one of the first really depressing ones in a while... Here it is.
"Don't talk, because I'm not listening I feel like I've given all I can I am nothing more than a waste I am nothing more than a man. I speak in rhymes while you crack a smile I make boring times worth while. But is that all I do? Because I feel so alone I'm clenching my fists And holding my phone. I feel let down But I bring this on myself I need you now I need your help. I'm going away To a dark place with no light. I'm going away Into the night."
People seem to enjoy my poems and they say I write well. I don't think I write well, I just write what I feel and I think that comes a cross, and people can relate. But I wouldn't say they're good, they're just real. I'm going to sleep for the night. Tomorrow night I'm suppose to go to the movies with one a friend. That should be fun, I know it'll cheer me up. But for right now, I feel so alone and cold.
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