It's been well over a month since my last post. I had a shitty day and I am in a horrible mood. I could be seeing Everclear right now, live, in NYC. But I'm not. I don't know what it is, well I mean, I do know, but I mean, I don't get it. I'm growing cold. I'm not talking about my feelings to anyone really. I'm keeping my feelings bottled up and thats not like me. Normally I'd have a few people to turn to, and I do have them, but I don't want to say anything. I don't know. I need someone and I'm not getting anyone. I'm just so overwhelmed with shit that I'm pissed off and I'm not talking about anything to anyone. I don't even want to get into it on here. What the fuck, this is so pointless. I'm sick of people. But at the same time I'm not. I get it, I get it now. I just wish I saw it before because now I'm stuck and it hurts. I feel like I'm pinned between two cars. There's moments, many moments where I feel great, but it's days like today that make me sick. I wish someone fucking cared. If I said something to someone I'm sure they would, but I'm too fucking ignorant to say something is wrong. I need them to come to me. I can only hope, but hoping to God on high is like clinging to straws while drowning. What you are.
"This is my fair-well to you and I. This will all end in tragedy"
I Care. You can always talk to me... unless i have something like kindof important due the next day and I'm actually going to work on it... but even then you can talk although i might just kindof not say much. but soon I won't have any classes lol so yeah. So if you want to talk and I'm on when you read this then just say hi or something.
ReplyDeleteoh and I kindof know how you feel, although I'm pretty sure I don't. I know how it feels to not want to talk to anyone but my reasons are probably different. ok well I'll talk to you later then.
Have a happier day,
every day.